World Sex Championships

The Air Sex World Championships??? Yes, that is exactly what you think it is (i.e. pelvic thrusts set to music in front of a crowd). For the air virgins out there, the rules are simple. Contestants have 2 minutes to perform an air sex routine, which according to the event’s website, may include “all phases of an air sex encounter: meeting, seduction, foreplay and intercourse.” Suspiciously absent from that list are our favorite phases: crying and apologizing.

Two minutes may not sound like a lot of time to go from zero to 60, but this competition isn’t for the weak of heart.

“Air Sex is sort of like Air Guitar,” said Tim League, founder of the Alamo Drafthouse and the Air Sex World Championship, “except instead of pretending to play an invisible guitar on stage, contestants get up there and pretend to have sex with someone who isn’t there. With their clothes on, typically. They pick a song to perform to and then have two minutes to impress the judges with their overall Airness.”

Unlike air guitar, air sex has very few rules: “Props are allowed, teams are allowed, talking is allowed.”

The only real rule that the event stresses is that all climaxes must be simulated, not real. Basically you want to leave the audience saying, “I’ll have what she’s having.”

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